for the record...i had butterflies in my stomach

Sometimes things we say or do hurt people, and sometimes its the things we dont.
Life puts us on such a strange path, each moment is the end of your life till then and the beginning of the rest of it. One might wonder how he decides whose path crosses who. Is it just coincidence or is it a small link in the bigger picture? More importantly, how does one decide who stays? At times something that you do, because you feel it would be better for the other person in the long run actually ends up leaving them shattered, and then of course, you feel like a horrid person for doing what u did, despite the fact that you had their best in mind. But then, who ever said life was a straight road! Its one with bumps, twists, turns and intersections. Ah yes, the intersections thats where I went wrong. Took a turn and then changed my mind, but the only reason I took the turn was because it was a pretty road and I wanted to give it my best shot, unfortunately, for the road, it didn't quite work out the way it was supposed to, and I really am sorry for that. I wish things could have been different, but then, this is what life is, right? If you're reading this, just wanted to say, that I too had butterflies in my stomach.

Here Without You

A hundred days has made me older
since the last time that i saw your pretty face
a thousand lights had made me colder
and i don't think i can look at this the same
and all the miles had seperate
they disapeared now when i'm dreaming of your face

Im here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but youre still with me in my dreams
and tonight, it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
i hear this life is overrated
but i hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know
and anywhere i go
it gets hard but it won't take away my love
and when the last one falls
when it's all said and done
it gets hard but it won't take away my love

Im here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Im here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl its only you and me

Closure..

The supreme power of closure. It is that moment in time when you can look to your left and see clearly all that you've been through and gotten over and when you look to your right you see a brand new world waiting for you to jump in. That is also the moment when one puts an end to a cherished want, wish or dream that may or may not have been realised.
One never realises what one has until it is lost but it is also true that one never knows what one is missing until it arrives. I truly believe that everything in this world happens for a reason. God has a plan for our lives. But that super plan which holds the reasons for all the happenings is completely unfolded before us only at the End. The same end, where I earlier said, everything is "ok".

All Out of Love

I am lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you're hurt too
but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that
I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh, so right

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

Sometimes in life when everything is going perfectly well and happiness is at its peak, a thought crosses one's mind, "whats gonna go wrong now?". Its not just about being pessimistic, even the most optimistic souls have had this query pass through their minds at times of extreme euphoria. It is normal human tendency. We're so used to life's ups and downs that when we're floating on the highest high, instead of reveling in the moment we're thinking of how low the roller coaster will take us now. Despite trying very hard not to think of what would go wrong in my lowest low, which was inevitable as i was on cloud number 9, I slipped and fell into the murky waters of despair. I curse the day that those negative thoughts entered my mind. I am a true believer of positive thinking. We can get what we want to get and we can be who we want to be. We just have to want it enough.

"its weird how you go from being strangers to being friends to being more than friends and back to being practically strangers again and it all happens so fast."


But then again, like I said, I don't live in the real world, I live on another realm, one that is magical and fairytale like, where things are always ok in the end, and so I still believe
,

"everything is always ok in the end and if its not ok its not the end"

Sometimes certain things have an aura about them. So much so that they become almost intimidating to our normal red blooded selves. In fact, we tend to glorify and idolize them to such levels that they eventually seem surreal, something that exists only in a utopian world. But, there comes a time in life, when in that split second, there is no intimidation, no fear of the result and the best bet seems to be, to just do it. This is what i call the point of no return. Once you've arrived here, you're like a ball at the tip of a downward slope, and Im not referring to "downward" in a bad, downfall sort of way. Its liberating, exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. Your mind, heart and body seem to be experiencing a thousand different emotions at the very same time. But now that you've done it, after about a million hours of contemplation, its another hill you've gone over and another feather in your cap of life. :)

अन एम्प्टी mind इस अ डेविल्स वर्कशॉप

I sometimes wonder..how life would've been different had I not been as much "me" as I am. For mind those of you who dont know "me", I'm referring to the adamant, head strong and determined part of me. There have been so many times when I have fought my way through adversities and gotten exactly what I wanted. Correction, what I "thought" I wanted. But what if this isn't what I really want. What if God had a plan for me and because of my stiff necked attitude I went against that plan. This would technically mean that I am now lost in the big bad world, away from the path that He had chosen for me. Its a scary thought, and not one that I like to ponder upon often, but then like the title suggests, an empty mind truly takes one on these ill-flavoured journies and all I can do is hope that He will guide me back if I have unknowingly deferred.

All's well that begin's well

I used to think that philosophy was a thing for those who couldn't bear to come to terms with the real world...until I became one of those people who divulge in such things of the mind and have brief but intense interludes which help them realise the true meaning of their being. Why are we here on Earth? Its a heavy question and I'm sure its crossed your mind at various stages of life.. I don't claim to have an answer to that one..I'm not even going to try..its merely one of those questions that are let out into the universal sea of unanswered questions and remains there until a certain someone catches a hold of it and answers it specifically for you. But mind you, this isnt a universal answer and as I said, is applicable only to you.
For those of you who by now think that I'm a crazed woman rambling on and on about nothing in particular, here's what this post was about,
"Someone Somewhere is made for YOU"

cheerios until next time :)